


Why Try Anything?

by AlmostSilent



Series: Stars Are Falling All For Us [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Erica is kind of a bitch in this, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I love her really though, Insecure Stiles, Lydia is a Bad Friend, M/M, Minor Angst, Minor Derek/OFC, mentions of cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-13
Updated: 2014-03-13
Packaged: 2018-01-15 15:17:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1309540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlmostSilent/pseuds/AlmostSilent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles was feeling like such an idiot. God, everyone had warned him, they told him that Derek would get bored, that he’d find someone else. Stiles was just a distraction for Derek, just someone to fluff his ego and make him feel good until he was ready to find someone better, someone more permanent. It would’ve been less embarrassing if the whole pack hadn’t been warning him, if it wasn’t Lydia who finally got the proof and shattered his delusion with a series of incriminating picture messages. Less embarrassing, but probably no less painful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Try Anything?

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first Sterek fic that I'm posting, not the first I've written but the first I've really finished. So let me know what you guys think. 
> 
> The title is from 'What You Know' by Two Door Cinema Club.
> 
> Read additional warnings in the end notes if you need, but it does contain spoilers.
> 
> Also I could really use a beta for my other Sterek fics, so shoot me a message over at my [tumblr](http://almostsilent.tumblr.com) if you're interested :D
> 
> (ETA: because of that whole ebooks-tree thing (information can be found [here](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Ebooks_Tree).) this is the official disclaimer that while I don't own the characters, I do own the work and I don't give permission for it to be posted anywhere else without my explicit permission.)

Stiles was feeling like such an idiot. God, everyone had warned him, they told him that Derek would get bored, that he’d find someone else. Stiles was just a distraction for Derek, just someone to fluff his ego and make him feel good until he was ready to find someone better, someone more permanent. It would’ve been less embarrassing if the whole pack hadn’t been warning him, if it wasn’t Lydia who finally got the proof and shattered his delusion with a series of incriminating picture messages. Less embarrassing, but probably no less painful.

His and Derek’s relationship developed slowly. Once they got to the point of being friends, it was easier for Stiles to admit his attraction to Derek, but he knew he’d never do anything about it. Derek wasn’t someone he could pursue, wasn’t even close to being in his league. When he’d told Scott this, Scott had pointed out the nearly ten years of his life he’d spent crushing on Lydia. Stiles didn’t know how to tell Scott that he’d been holding on to a kid’s crush as a way of trying to hold on to the life he’d had before his mom died. It wasn’t fair to Lydia, and honestly it wasn’t really fair to himself either considering the years of repressing his sexuality it caused. He’d talked to Lydia a little bit about it, around the time they started actually becoming friends. Told her he had actually been a little bit in love with her when he was nine, but really he loved her as a friend, she’d told him that she’d always known that. Of course.

But then Derek had started flirting with him, treating him a little differently, spending more time with him. The first time Derek asked him out on a date, Stiles was kind of positive it was some kind of joke or trick. He’d even looked into the local witch population to see if any of them had cast some sort of spell. It wasn’t until the third time Derek asked him out that he said yes, tentatively and with no small amount of reservations. 

And that was how it started, but it really had developed slowly after that. It took them a few weeks just to get to their first kiss, and they still hadn’t had sex yet. Derek said he understood Stiles’ hesitation, but Stiles had been worried for a while that Derek was going to get sick of waiting. 

He hadn’t actually expected Derek to cheat on him though, had thought that, at least was a line Derek wouldn’t cross. Derek had always been sweet to him, ever since the beginning, he hadn’t thought Derek would ever do something to hurt him like this. Looks like he was wrong on all counts really.

He couldn’t stop staring at the pictures though, like the masochist he apparently was. She was beautiful, the woman he was seeing. Long black hair and blue eyes, tanned skin and long legs, totally who you’d expect someone like Derek to date. They actually looked really good together. 

Lydia had sent him four pictures of them together, on what looked like two separate dates. In the first one they’re holding hands and sitting in what looks like a coffee shop, the photo was obviously taken from across the street with a decent camera. It was hard not to see the loving look in her eyes, though Derek was facing mostly away from the camera. The next one was taken from the same angle, but it’s of them leaving the coffee shop with his arm around her shoulders and she’s leaning against his side like she belongs there. But maybe she does, maybe it was always Stiles that didn’t belong.

The next two were worse. Stiles couldn’t tell where they were from the photos, though they were obviously outside, and they were kissing. The first picture makes it look like a simple, chaste kiss, the second...The second is much more than that. And it makes Stiles want to cry whilst also making him want to punch something. Hard.

The thing is, part of his brain wants to make excuses, wants to try and explain it away. And he probably could have, if it wasn’t for that last picture. There’s no explaining that away, no misinterpreting that as something else. This is the definition of irrefutable proof. Derek is cheating on him.

It takes him a while after calming himself down enough to make a decision. Honestly a big part of him wants to just never talk to Derek again, just start blanking him and ignoring his calls and texts and just...not dealing with any of it. There’s also a small part of him that wants to just...forget that he knows, go back to how it was before. He almost decides just to pretend, just to ignore it and keep going on as before. But, he can’t, he knows he can’t. So, he does the only thing left to him, he decides to confront Derek face to face. He needs answers, needs to know why, needs that closure. He doesn’t really want it per se, because honestly, if Derek says that he was just tired of Stiles, or tired of waiting for sex, he doesn’t know what he’ll do. He knows no answer will be good enough here, but he still needs to know.

He keeps the text purposefully vague and simply asks Derek to come over as soon as possible. He’s still in the process of packing so he and Scott can move the half an hour away to college, and he suddenly doesn’t want to do this here, it already feels too much like loss standing in this room. But it’s too late now, he realises as Derek’s slipping in through the window because apparently it’s a hard habit to break. Stiles always used to appreciate it, because it saved him from having to get up to answer the door. Now it feels like an unwelcome intrusion.

“Hey babe, what’s up?” And Stiles can’t handle Derek’s smile right now, how happy and comfortable he looks when Stiles is shattering from the inside out.

“Lydia sent me some interesting photos today,” he sees Derek frown, knows his voice sounds small and broken and he hates it. He clears his throat, “Here, let me forward them to you.”

He quickly pulls the messages up on his phone and forwards them all to Derek. He thinks it might be easier if he doesn’t have to say it. He just needs Derek to know that he knows, that doesn’t mean he has to say the words out loud, doesn’t mean he can.

When he hears the dings of Derek’s phone going off he briefly closes his eyes. Suddenly he can’t watch, can’t see whatever look is going to cross Derek’s face when he realises that Stiles knows. Doesn’t think he can handle that either.

He hears Derek take a sharp inhale of breath, feels like the world is kind of crashing down around his ears. He feels stupid for feeling this way, he knows it isn’t really the end of the world, knows he can recover from this. He lost his mom really young, and as much as he’d wanted it to at the time, the world didn’t actually end. He can make it through this too. He’s just not sure right this second that he actually wants to.

“Stiles,” Derek’s voice has taken on a pleading tone that Stiles has never heard before. It’s enough to get him to open his eyes. This is it, this is the part where excuses are made and reasons are given. “It’s not what it looks like, I swear,” Stiles can’t help the small snort he lets out at that, because really? That’s the best he can do?

“Derek, you do realise there is literally no legitimate excuse you can give for having your tongue down someone else’s throat right?” He’s glad how flat and even his voice comes out, he would’ve hated himself even more if his voice broke now. 

“No, Stiles, these are old pictures, I don’t know why Lydia has them or why she sent them to you,” Derek growls a little at that, “But these are from nearly two years ago, right before I came back to Beacon Hills. I’m not cheating on you.”

Hearing the words out loud makes Stile take in his own breath. His throat feels tight and he thinks his hands might be shaking, but he’s not even sure what emotion is causing it, it feels like he’s feeling them all right now.

Because suddenly, there’s an excuse that could actually wash it all away. And Stiles wants so desperately to believe it, wants to go back to how it was before, making out with Derek on the sofa at the apartment, going out to dinner or staying in and watching a movie. Things were so good. But, he doesn’t believe it. Or maybe he just doesn’t trust it.

“I don’t know what to believe right now Derek,” he shakes his head, his voice coming out quiet but thankfully not weak, “You’re trying to tell me that two years ago, some random person was taking pictures of you and your girlfriend for...what reason exactly? And that Lydia somehow managed to get ahold of these pictures, two years later mind you, and then decides to send them to me...why? For what possible reason?” He shakes his head again, “All of that seems a little far fetched to me. Occam’s razor and all that. The simplest explanation is often the right one. In this case the simplest explanation being that you’re...cheating on me,” he has to choke the word out and he feels the traitorous tears start to sting at the back of his eyes so he tilts his head up and stares at the ceiling.

“I’m not Stiles, I would never,” Derek takes a step forward and Stiles wants to take a step back but he can’t, “Ask Lydia. Ask her where she got those photos from.”

Stiles frowns a little at that, because he hadn’t even thought to ask. After he’d received the messages he’d sent a quick ‘what.’ to Lydia and had received back a simple ‘I’m sorry.’ It hadn’t seemed to matter at the time where the photos had come from, just what was in them. So he gives a slight nod before pulling his phone back up from where it was hanging in his hand down at his side. He quickly goes to Lydia’s contact and hits call. She answers on the fourth ring.

“Stiles?”

“Where did you get those pictures from?” he doesn’t bother beating around the bush, he needs to know. Needs to hear it from Lydia herself that she was the one who took the photos, that she was there and saw it with her own eyes.

“It doesn’t matter,” she sighs, “You saw them, he clearly loves her and it’s probably best if you just end it before you get hurt.”

“It matters to me,” he fights back the fresh tears that want to spring up from Lydia’s words. He can hear Derek’s sub-vocal growling and small distressed noises. Wants everything to just stop, wants this all to be over.

“You need to get over this Stiles, we’ve all been telling you from the beginning this is how it was going to end, you’re the one who didn’t listen to us,” her concern has given way to irritation and Stiles wants to fight back, wants to be angry and indignant, but they had warned him. They’d all been saying since the beginning that Derek was going to break his fragile little heart. 

“Derek says they’re old pictures,” he says instead.

“Is Derek there with you?” she asks with steel in her voice.

“Yeah.”

“Put him on.”

Stiles hands over the phone reluctantly, and he doesn’t hear whatever Lydia’s saying to Derek, but he sees the anger building on his face. By the time Derek replies he looks positively murderous.

“And you call yourself his friend?” he spits. 

There’s silence while Lydia obviously answers and Derek just looks kind of...disgusted.

“I’d never cheat on Stiles and you know that,” he replies evenly, “I’d also never even consider being with Erica, which she knows. So whatever it is you two are up to, it needs to end now. You can’t play with people’s lives like this.”

Stiles is trying to process this, what has Erica got to do with anything? Does Lydia think Derek’s been sleeping with Erica too? God, how many are there?

“Scott would never do that,” Derek’s suddenly saying, “They’re brothers, no way Scott would agree to whatever you’ve been plotting.”

And suddenly Stiles feels kind of sick, because he realises Lydia isn’t even denying that the photos aren’t real, she’s trying to explain why she lied. And apparently Erica and Scott were in on it? He slumps heavily down onto his bed and doesn’t really know what to do with any of this.

“Trust me, we’ll be talking about this,” Derek finally growls, “But right now I have more important things to deal with, because in case you've forgotten it was Stiles’ life you were screwing around with.”

He hangs up the phone then before placing it on the desk and approaching Stiles almost cautiously.

“Why?” is all Stiles can whimper out, “Why would they do that?” And suddenly he has his boyfriend’s arms wrapped around him and he can’t help but sniffle into his shoulder. He feels stupid for getting teary. He’s dealt with death and monsters and Scott almost killing himself that one time, but this is what makes him all weepy eyed? He’s such an idiot.

“Apparently, Erica thought that she deserved to be the Alpha Mate,” Derek says with such a tone of disgust, totally at odds with the gentle way he’s rubbing Stiles’ back, “And I think maybe Lydia actually thought she was doing the right thing?” He doesn’t sound so sure of that though, like maybe he’s just trying not to hurt Stiles anymore than he already has been.

“But...Scott?”

“Scott has never thought I was good enough for you,” Derek sighs, “I guess he thought it would be better if we just broke up. So he went along with Lydia’s plan.”

It doesn’t really help, doesn’t make him feel better. His best friend, his brother, betrayed him like that and no amount of good intentions is going to make up for that.

He also doesn’t know what to say now, doesn’t really know where he stands with Derek. God, he just accused his boyfriend of cheating on him. He feels like such an asshole. He quickly pulls out of Derek’s arms and stands up, squaring his shoulders and trying not to look as small as he feels.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” he blurts, “I never should’ve accused you like that. I didn’t think you’d ever...But everyone was right really. I was kind of just waiting for you to break up with me and this just seemed like an escalation of that or something?” he shrugs a little, “I mean, it made sense you know?”

“Why the hell does that make sense?” And Derek sounds honestly confused and Stiles maybe isn’t sure what to make of that.

“Come on Derek, everyone can see that we aren’t...That we don’t make sense,” Stiles fumbles a little, trying to find the right words to explain all the ways in which their relationship does not, in fact, make sense, “When we go out, people look at us like they can’t figure out what you’re doing with me. You have to have noticed the way people hit on you when I’m standing right next to you. There was that waitress last week, we were on a freaking date and she was shamelessly flirting with you right in front of me. Because, people don’t see us as a serious thing, or they assume we can’t be together in the first place.”

It’s the first time he’s really said any of it out loud and it makes him feel angry and hurt and sad and stupid all at once. He wishes everything was easier, wishes he could just be with Derek and not have to question it, or have everyone else question it.

“And ever since we first started going out the whole pack has been saying stuff, asking me what I’m going to do when you’re finally ready to find a real relationship. Telling me that I’m going to get hurt when you inevitably get bored and leave me. All kinds of shit, and mostly I don’t think they’re wrong. Everyone knows you’re too good for me, everyone else can see it. I’m not...I mean I’m lanky and pale and weird looking and I never know when to shut up and I can’t focus and I’m always saying the wrong thing and doing the wrong thing.”

By the end of his little speech Derek is looking kind of gutted. Like Stiles’ words have caused him physical pain, it makes something inside of Stiles clench painfully, makes him feel a little sick. He wants to say more, wants to explain why they haven’t had sex yet, why Stiles never talks about the future, wants to explain to Derek that he doesn’t know how to love with anything less than his whole heart so he knows it’s his whole heart that’s going to break. But he can’t find anymore words, not with the look on Derek's face. Can’t figure out how to fix this, or how he broke it in the first place.

“Stiles,” he finally croaks out, and he sounds so broken it makes that painful clench in Stiles’ chest tug a little more. He steps forward and pulls Stiles into his arms again, clings a little too tight but it makes Stiles feel comforted.

“I didn’t know,” he finally says after several long seconds of silence, “I didn’t know you were feeling that way. I thought you knew how much I care about you,” he pulls back a little to look Stiles in the eyes, “I love you Stiles. Even more than that, I trust you, and you know that’s not something I do lightly. I don’t want anyone else, I’m not going to want anyone else. It’s just you. And I think you’re perfect.”

He leans forward to place a kiss on Stiles’ lips, it’s sweet and chaste and makes something warm curl in his chest as the tightness loosens. He can’t help but lean into Derek even more.

“You’re beautiful and smart and funny and never, ever boring,” Derek says as he breaks away, leaning back to look Stiles in the eyes once more, “You don’t take my shit and you’re sarcastic and quick witted and you never back down from a fight when you know you’re right. You’re loyal and a good friend, and an amazing boyfriend and I love you. I’m not going to break up with you, not a chance in hell okay?”

There’s so much emotion in Derek’s eyes, so much sincerity and honesty that it kind of chokes Stiles up for a minute. He can’t force any words out, can barely even breathe from the intensity in those eyes, having them trained on him.

“Yeah, okay,” he finally manages. Giving Derek a small smile but a genuine one, “I love you too you know? Like a lot.”

Derek grins back at him and leans forward to press another chaste kiss against his lips. For all it’s chaste, the kiss still settles something within Stiles, all the panic of the last few hours dissipating and leaving him feeling tired and warm and ready for this day to just be over.

Derek seems to get it though, because he leads Stiles back over to the bed and they settle down together, Stiles laying in Derek’s arms, his head pillowed on his chest. He feels safe and content and happy. He closes his eyes and he can almost imagine this day never happened. Almost.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now,” he confesses into the darkness of his room, the sun had set at some point while he was fighting with Derek and on the phone to Lydia. The darkness feels comforting though, rather than unsettling.

“I’m going to speak to them. You just don’t do what they did, not to pack,” there’s a hard edge to his voice that suggests it’s not going to be a civil conversation, “Honestly I have no idea what I’m going to do with Erica. Maybe send her to one of the allied packs for a while, let her learn respect and get some perspective,” Really Stiles doesn’t want to think about Erica’s motives in all this. Derek said she’d wanted to be the Alpha Mate, which Stiles probably should’ve seen coming, Erica’s craved power ever since she got the bite, especially power obtained through sex. Obviously Lydia agreed with her, but that’s a whole other issue. Stiles’ recently renewed self-esteem really can’t afford to go down that rabbit hole, so he focuses on something else instead.

“I’ll have to talk to Scott, we’re meant to be moving in together in two weeks. I’m not sure how I can do that now, after everything.” Stiles doesn’t even really know what to think at that moment, “God, everything’s such a fucking mess.”

Why did there have to be so much drama? Why couldn’t things just go well for once? Stiles was kind of fucking sick of it, sick of everything going wrong and being so fucked up. Somehow, in the mess that had become his life, the most stable, safe thing he has is his relationship with Derek. Which is crazy to think considering an hour ago he was convinced Derek was cheating on him and they were going to break up. But somehow it’s true all the same. Because even when he’d had the proof in front of him there was a part of him that didn’t, couldn’t believe it. He’s pretty sure now that it was the rational part of his brain, or at the very least the part that knows Derek the best.

“You’re right, you should talk to him,” Derek nods, Stiles can feel his chin move against the top of his head, “But if after you guys talk you still don’t think you can live with him, then why not live with me instead?”

The offer is thrown out with the worst attempt at casual Stiles has ever heard. Although, that may be because he knows Derek so well, can hear the uncertainty in his voice, feel the tension in his muscles.

“I mean, I know it’s probably not the best time,” he adds a little hastily, “And you don’t have to say anything now, it’s been kind of a weird day. But, I just wanted you to know that the offer was there.”

Stiles swallows the tight lump in his throat, he can almost picture it in his mind; living with Derek, doing stupid domestic stuff and arguing over who left the towel on the bathroom floor and who used the last of the milk. It makes a warm glow settle in his chest. 

“Okay,” he finally says, before thinking something else and adding, “Though I’m not moving in with you before we’ve had sex.”

The hand that was rubbing patterns into his back stills and Stiles can’t help but bite his lip. It’s too late to take the words back now, and he doesn’t really want to. It seems kind of backwards to move in with his boyfriend before they’ve even had sex. After all, they’d presumably be sharing a bed every night, no way Stiles could deal with the sexual frustration that would bring if they weren’t having sex.

“You...you want to?” Derek asks hesitantly, almost shyly, “I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t want to. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything.”

“Of course I want to,” Stiles sighs, shifting around so his chin is resting on Derek’s chest and he’s looking him in the eye, “How could I not want to? Not having sex with you these last few months has been like the worst kind of self-imposed torture,” Stiles smiles a little self-deprecatingly, “I guess I was just trying to protect myself a little, in the only way I could.”

“Because you thought I was going to break up with you at any minute,” Derek says with that tone of realisation. It makes Stiles feel kind of exposed, like Derek is finally seeing all the way through him. He doesn’t mind it as much as he thinks he should.

“I think maybe it’s time I stopped letting other people get in my head so much,” Stiles shrugs a little, “I love you and you love me, and I mean, you know I trust you too right? I’m sorry I let other people make me forget that.”

“It’s not your fault, you’re supposed to be able to trust your pack. But I’m glad you trust me, and I promise to work everyday not to break that trust,” Derek says with such gravity and sincerity that Stiles couldn’t help but believe him, he also couldn’t help the warm affection he felt. 

Things still felt like a total mess, the pack had done something so hurtful and deceitful and he honestly wasn’t sure how they were going to come back from this. He’d have to have a painful conversation with Scott and probably work on his own self-esteem issues as well. But all of that could be dealt with later, right now he had Derek’s arms around him as he drifted off to sleep and he felt safe and loved and whole. Stiles couldn’t help but think it was a pretty good place to start.

**Author's Note:**

> Additional warning: At the beginning of the fic, Stiles thinks Derek is cheating on him. He then finds out that he'd been lied to and Derek was not actually cheating him.
> 
> Let me know if I forgot to tag anything.
> 
> I have a few ideas for a possible sequel, but I don't know if anyone would be interested in that? So let me know, and also what you might like to see in a sequel and I'll see what I can do.


End file.
